My Sweet Dreams
by angelofdarkness78
Summary: Response to Mystic Fayth's My Sweet Dream challenge. Alec reflects on what he could have in his life and what he already has. MA oneshot


A/N: This is an MA one-shot, and it is an attempt at Mystic Fayth's "My Sweet Dream" challenge. I hope I do it justice and if you would all please kindly review, it would be much appreciated.

_Italics _Alec's POV

* * *

_In the weeks after Rachel's death, I was plagued by nightmares, horrible nightmares that made me cry out and made me relive those horrible moments when she found out about my betrayal and who I was. I'd wake up every night in cold sweat, my heart thumping beyond control, the smell of sulfur and smoke from the explosion still entering my nose. I'd wake up feeling just as helpless as I was that day and every time I woke up from that nightmare, I hated myself more and more. It was my fault Rachel went into a coma, and it was my fault she died. _

Alec stirred when his alarm clock went off and slowly got out of bed, stretching his body and moving tiredly towards the bathroom, rubbing his eyes. He splashed water on his face to wake himself up, and then he straightened and looked at himself in the mirror.

_I always hated looking in the mirror after that mission. It showed my true colours, that I was a killer, an assassin. My eyes were cold, those of someone who could no longer feel. But after a while, after someone else showed me who I could be, I started to be able to handle it. My eyes softened and started to laugh, the lines on my face went away. I wasn't just a genetically engineered killing machine, but a person, who could love and be loved._

He stepped into the shower and turned it to its hottest setting, letting the warm water run over his body and relax his muscles.

_It's funny what a year can do to you. It's funny how everything can change before your eyes and you never realize it until everything's completely different. Because that's how I feel. Completely different. A separate person from X5-494, the man from a year ago. The man who had first met Max Guevara, the bitchiest woman on earth who still somehow had that quality that made you want to hug and coddle her. It was after I met her that my whole world shifted, and what had seemed important before didn't merit my attention. My nightmares about Rachel and all the bad things that had happened to me slowly faded away, being replaced by sweet ones that showed me what could be. That maybe I could have a normal life, maybe escape my past. That in the future I can actually be happy, maybe with Max? Those dreams erased every doubt I had, if only for the duration of the night. Still, when I woke up from those dreams, I always felt good. It was a feeling that I wanted to keep, and would fight to keep._

Alec stepped out of the shower, quickly toweled off and got dressed, glancing at his clock to see that he had accidentally set it for an hour earlier. He had plenty of time to kill before having to go to work. He debated for a moment, then threw on his leather jacket, deciding to drop by Max's to see if she wanted to hang out. Annoying her was better than being alone in his apartment, bored out of his mind.

_In my dreams, most of what was happening in my life at the moment was still happening, except there was no White, no Familiars or cult, and the whole world wasn't hating us. In my dreams, I wasn't living in some nice, boring, all-white house with picket fences; I was still living in the run-down apartment I am now. It's just that there wasn't anything bad to ruin my life. I'm not saying the world has to be perfect because it never will be, but not having to run and look over my shoulder all the time would be nice. I know these dreams can never come true though. What are the chances of that? Still, they are rather nice, and way better than my previous nightmares. They're just little fantasies. Nothing major._

Alec walked up the stairs to Max's floor due to the elevator being broken, and he rapped lightly on her door. Hearing no answer, he took the liberty of walking in, and noticing no one in the general vicinity, he moved towards her bedroom. He pushed the door open slowly and let out a genuine smile at the sight that greeted him.

_She looks like an angel, sleeping there and not being able to snipe away at me for barging into her apartment without permission. I've always noticed people look less scary when they're asleep._

He lowered himself down on the corner of her bed and just watched her chest move up and down in even breathing, the light from the window catching in her brown locks and setting a soft glow on her face. He reached out to remove a strand that had fallen into her face, and his fingers brushed her skin, warm and rosy with sleep. He planted a kiss on her forehead and stood to leave her to rest.

_Maybe I was wrong. My sweet dreams are already my sweet reality._

_If only for a little while.

* * *

_

A/N: Did you guys like this? (Twiddles her thumbs nervously.) I'd love to hear your feedback. Especially from Mystic Fayth. Feel free to tell me anything I was missing or whatever. :) –angelofdarkness78


End file.
